Go into any pub these days and you will find the bar covered in a huge array of dripping beer dispensers covered in condensation. The Extra Cold taps, the latest gimmick of the Brewers are like stranded icebergs somehow marooned in our bars. You could be mistaken for thinking that even our humble boozer was falling victim to global warming and that these mysterious icy towers were in rapid melt down.
These days everything has to be cold or rather sub zero. There is at the moment an “ice war” being waged between the different brewers, each trying to out do the other, in the race for the ultimate cold beer. Extra Cold Carling, goes head to head with Blisteringly Cold Carlsberg, Frostbite Fosters challenges Ice Station Stella. The Brewery Generals take this “ice war” very seriously indeed. They watch the enemy very closely; it is a war of brinkmanship was the stakes are high. If Carling develops a new ice product then Carlsberg will do the same only even colder. There was an expression back in the days of the real cold war, Mutual Assured Destruction, or M.A.D., as it was known. The idea being what ever you do to us we will do to you. Well it seems the Cold War is back in earnest.
Where will it end? Perhaps when the first casualties of this chilly campaign start suing the brewers for injuries sustained during the drinking of these icy brews. Brewers will have to be seen to show due diligence to their customers by providing thermal gloves and safety warnings, in order to prevent frostbitten hands and frozen lips.
Well, as with all things, what goes round comes round, and as for me well I’m waiting for the return of the good old pint of warm beer.
World of boz 